Changes I made- Used more parenthetically for each character in dialogue in attempts to portray some character arc and demonstrate emotions. As well as this I added more dialogue in the script to fill in for some action so as the pacing of the extract is not too quick.
Feedback- work on conforming to the genre- use some stereotypical plot points where necessary to elevate the plot. Try to add some character arcs
Changes I will make- As I finish the script, I will work on the plot points and try to make interesting arcs for my characters as well as continuing to add enough dialogue
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