2nd draft script

 

Changes:

The changes from my first draft include a lengthening of the content and story whilst attempting to keep the dialogue authentic

Feedback: Use more parentheticals in script to demonstrate character emotions, less long paragraphs, work on 3 act structure

Changes I will make- use of parenthetical, set out clear single stranded structure in attempts to convey to 3 acts, use more dialogue to break up the action blocks and make them more concise